I have a confession to make. I love my grandson with all my heart and love raising him. But there is the part of me that resents our son for my having to do this. Sometimes it would be nice to just be a grandparent, not a grandparent raising the grandchild.
That is not an option as long as our son is on drugs.
I feel guilty for feeling this way, but I know it is normal. Normal to feel the resentment and normal to feel the guilt for feeling like this. I would like to hear from you if you have dealt with this.
People say they feel responsible because their child is on drugs. This is not a problem for me because I did everything I could think of to get help for my son. It has taken more than 10 years to come to the point where I realize the drug user has to decide to quit and get help. You can provide resources, but you can’t do the work for him. If you find a program, he has to make that contact with them. Otherwise, it probably won’t work.
There is an emotional roller coaster of despair when your child is using drugs, hope when he seems to try to change, and the plunge back into despair or resignation when he uses again. And the anger. And still the love for him. It is exhausting.
What is more tiring is to deal with this while raising his child. We are all different ages here, but some of us are older. At 63, I just don’t have the energy I did when I was raising my children. Yet, this child needs my best.
To those of you dealing with this issue of anger or resentment, please know that it is normal. You don’t need to feel that something is wrong with your feeling this way. That is just part of the situation we are in. Just try to funnel your energy into helping your grandchild. It takes A LOT of energy!!
photo credit: symphony of love <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/85608594@N00/21626834051″>Dalai Lama We can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us, and make us kinder. You always have the choice</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a>